This is—by far—my metrical magnum opus, yet that doesn’t mean it’s beyond the reach of Latin 1 students. Forget any meter of mine you’ve ever met. If your pupils haven’t cared much for poor Piso’s poetry, no problem. This book is for them! It basically makes fun of Latin class, and school in general, which is a very different, yet delightful read, and it’s for students. I keep pointing that out because I’ve come to find that a lot of teaching materials are actually written for teachers, who then of course go on to use them with students (my own Piso Workbook included). This book, however, instead is written for students, directly…

“Wait, we have to read…Eutropius…who’s that?! Homework on a Friday?! Class for an hour straight without a break?! Oh no, more tests in Math?! What, no glossary?! Why can’t we just read?! Honestly, I was in bed (but the teacher doesn’t know!)…”

This collection of 33 poems is a humorous yet honest reflection of school, Latin class, homework, tests, Romans, teaching, and remote learning.

What makes this good? Why do I need this?
I can answer with some numbers:

• 270

There are over 270 lines of dactylic hexameter—YES, over 270.

• 33
• 3-17

There are 33 poems. Most are 8 lines (as short as 3 , and as long as 17). This book is entirely in meter. Let me restate that…entirely in meter. There are no prose passages setting up the poetry like in fragmenta Pīsōnis, just straight up poems in this book.

• 77 + 121
• 2100
• 5

The entire book was written with—wait for it—just 77 cognates and 121 other words (only names and different forms of words are excluded. This book of over 2100 total words of Latin in length uses a vocabulary of just under 200 words. There are no glossed-out words in that figure, either, because the format includes Loeb-style facing English. Oh, and the 5 topics related to school are both familiar and compelling. To emphasize that again…familiar and compelling.

• 1

There’s one really awesome audio album, complete with ambient music, once again, from Michael Sintros (Duinneall). Hit play and following along while reading, or play straight through as background music, like at the start of class. There’s also a section with a click track at 48bpm for anyone looking to internalize the rhythm of dactylic hexameter.

This book is for all the students who kind of hate Latin, grammar, and could care less about the Romans.
This book is for all the nerds, too—students and teachers—who can’t get enough Latin, grammar, and Romans.
This book is for anyone in school who’s thought “do we *really* have to do this today?”—which is everyone, teachers included.

Here’s a poem preview that packs in the names of 34 ancient authors:
– Magister P

1. For Sets, Packs, eBooks, and Audio—with reduced prices—order here
2. Amazon
3. eBooks: Storylabs & Polyglots (<– Coming soon, and now includes audiobook!)
4. Audio Poetry Album